Dorothy Parker Slays

When you want to slay, but don't know how. Read on for some Inspo from our namesake, Dorothy Parker. 

Alfred Lord Tennyson

Should Heaven send me any son,
I hope he’s not like Tennyson.

I’d rather have him play a fiddle
Than rise and bow and speak an idyll.

De Profundis

Oh, is it, then, Utopian
To hope that I may meet a man
Who’ll not relate, in accents suave,
The tales of girls he used to have?


Some men break your heart in two,
Some men fawn and flatter,
Some men never look at you;
And that cleans up the matter.

Faute De Mieux

Travel, trouble, music, art,
A kiss, a frock, a rhyme-
I never said they feed my heart,
But still they pass my time.


Oh, seek, my love, your newer way;
I’ll not be left in sorrow.

So long as I have yesterday,
Go take your damned tomorrow!

I wish I could drink like a lady

I wish I could drink like a lady;
I can take one or two at the most:
Three and I’m under the table,
Four and I’m under the host.

Superfluous Advice

Should they whisper false of you,
Never trouble to deny;
Should the words they say be true,
Weep and storm and swear they lie.

Unfortunate Coincidence

By the time you swear you’re his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying –
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.

Words of Comfort to be Scratched on a Mirror

Helen of Troy had a wandering glance;
Sappho’s restriction was only the sky;
Ninon was ever the chatter of France;
But oh, what a good girl am I.


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